OccuCan
Conscription Office
Cold Lake, Manningsland
August 10, 2022 This letter is
to inform you that your DAUGHTER by the name of MS HIROKO DOKO has officially
FAILED TO REPORT FOR MILITARY SERVICE on Monday, August 8, 2022.
According to the
Canada-US Harmonizing Acts of 2015 this is a HEREDITARY FELONY. This
means that the party to whom this letter is addressed, as the offender's
next of kin, is LIABLE FOR ALL COSTS AND/OR PUNISHMENTS not exacted from
the offending party.
CHARGES INCURRED
TO DATE
|
Failure
to report:
|
5
years prison
|
|
All-points
bulletin:
|
US$1,200.00
|
|
Faxes:
|
US$53.75
|
|
APB
maintenance:
|
3
x US$150/day
|
BE ADVISED that
typical fees for apprehension can include helicopters at US$450/hour, SWAT
officers at $75/hour, any medical expenses incurred during or while enroute
to the action, collateral damage, tear gas at $125/cannister, vehicle mileage,
media expenses and other unforseen charges.
PLEASE ADVISE
the offending party, should they contact you, that their cooperation and
surrender would ease the burden on themselves and on you.
Don't forget to
recycle! |
